Tie Together Loose Ends

The ending of the novel Fall leaves many question unanswered and so I attempted to infer some things that I believe happened and connect the remaining dots. I believe that Noel had killed Fall while with her at the lake but his mind refused to accept this fact which is why it is never said in the novel. "You had to get something off your chest. You told her she was gorgeous. She didn't react well, you had a little tussle. All accidental. I did not. You hurt her. Where?" (McAdam 335). The reason I found this quote important because when the leading officer states that Noel hurt Fall, Noel does not deny is but simply asks "Where?". Someone who was innocent would most likely be angry at being accused of killing someone and say that they were innocent, Noel seems to shut down completely and does not try to deny the officers accusations. 

I also believe that this is not the first time that Noel has killed someone. At the beginning of the novel Noel makes reference to the girl he had met while in Australia, Meg, and gives a brief narrative of their relationship. At the end of their encounter, Meg disappears the next day, very similar to how Fall disappeared after he had confronted her about his feelings for her. Several lines make me believe this, such as; "I felt like she could see all my secrets" (McAdam 50), "I wanted to meet her and do it right this time, be kinder or better with my hands."(McAdam 50), "When I left her on the beach I don't think I scared her, but I wanted to make sure" (McAdam 50). The first line Noel is referring to his mother and saying that before he left to go back to school, he thought that his mother was able to see all of his secrets. This line struck me as odd because what secrets does Noel have to hide that would make him so upset that he nearly cries. Noel had just left Meg and then the next days he begins to talk about secrets which leads me to believe that he killed her. The next line I chose because he says that he wishes he had been nicer, implying that he had been rough or even violent towards her. The final line was the most obvious to me because Noel states that he is afraid that he may have scared her. Well with the situation they had been in the only way that I can think of for how Noel could have scared Meg is by acting violently. 

Finally I believe that the letters may act a trophy, or a way that his mind copes with the fact that he can not control his actions. After the disappearance of Meg, Noel decides to write her a letter basically apologizing for how he acted, saying that he cares about her. After the disappearance of Fall, Noel keeps the final letter that Fall had written to Julius. I believe that he wrote the letter to Meg as a sign of remorse for what he did and it was the way that his mind coped with what he had done. I believe he kept Fall's final letter as a way to keep her memory alive and to let himself refuse to admit what he had done and say that she had ran away.