Ending Thoughts

Overall I enjoyed reading this novel and was glad I chose it as my ISU novel, until reading the last few chapters. I can understand that some people may believe that Colin McAdam chose to leave what happened to Fall to the reader's imagination, but I found that a lazy excuse for the author's obvious negligence of satisfying readers, and his inability to create a worthy conclusion. For over half the book, readers contemplate what has happened to Fall, where is she, is she dead, and anxiously await the answers to these questions. Sorry readers but do not expect to get your answers. The ending of a novel normally explains what has happened, and gives readers a sense of closure. Again readers, sorry to be a buzz kill, but do not have such high expectations, obviously Colin McAdam could not even feign competence by creating a true ending for his characters. This novel built up Fall's disappearance for over half the novel, only not to explain it. That is not leaving her death to my imagination, that is just frustrating. I believe it would be right to compare Colin McAdam to Polonius from Hamlet, both characters grab your attention, promising an exciting story, insistently promising to fulfil your needs and answer your questions, then only to have the result of all of their talk be completely irrelevant rubbish. However I am sure that in this current day and age there must some product that Colin McAdam can use to become a more competent writer, though I am doubtful. I would advise him to study the works of Dr. Seuss, at least that man has enough respect for his readers, to supply the world's three year olds, an ending to their stories. 

Tie Together Loose Ends

The ending of the novel Fall leaves many question unanswered and so I attempted to infer some things that I believe happened and connect the remaining dots. I believe that Noel had killed Fall while with her at the lake but his mind refused to accept this fact which is why it is never said in the novel. "You had to get something off your chest. You told her she was gorgeous. She didn't react well, you had a little tussle. All accidental. I did not. You hurt her. Where?" (McAdam 335). The reason I found this quote important because when the leading officer states that Noel hurt Fall, Noel does not deny is but simply asks "Where?". Someone who was innocent would most likely be angry at being accused of killing someone and say that they were innocent, Noel seems to shut down completely and does not try to deny the officers accusations. 

I also believe that this is not the first time that Noel has killed someone. At the beginning of the novel Noel makes reference to the girl he had met while in Australia, Meg, and gives a brief narrative of their relationship. At the end of their encounter, Meg disappears the next day, very similar to how Fall disappeared after he had confronted her about his feelings for her. Several lines make me believe this, such as; "I felt like she could see all my secrets" (McAdam 50), "I wanted to meet her and do it right this time, be kinder or better with my hands."(McAdam 50), "When I left her on the beach I don't think I scared her, but I wanted to make sure" (McAdam 50). The first line Noel is referring to his mother and saying that before he left to go back to school, he thought that his mother was able to see all of his secrets. This line struck me as odd because what secrets does Noel have to hide that would make him so upset that he nearly cries. Noel had just left Meg and then the next days he begins to talk about secrets which leads me to believe that he killed her. The next line I chose because he says that he wishes he had been nicer, implying that he had been rough or even violent towards her. The final line was the most obvious to me because Noel states that he is afraid that he may have scared her. Well with the situation they had been in the only way that I can think of for how Noel could have scared Meg is by acting violently. 

Finally I believe that the letters may act a trophy, or a way that his mind copes with the fact that he can not control his actions. After the disappearance of Meg, Noel decides to write her a letter basically apologizing for how he acted, saying that he cares about her. After the disappearance of Fall, Noel keeps the final letter that Fall had written to Julius. I believe that he wrote the letter to Meg as a sign of remorse for what he did and it was the way that his mind coped with what he had done. I believe he kept Fall's final letter as a way to keep her memory alive and to let himself refuse to admit what he had done and say that she had ran away. 

Lost in Lies

"He says you spent a maximum of two hours alone with Fall in her life. He says she barely knew you. You went to a café with her once. Julius doesn't know everything. He says Fall thought you were a creep. She said you made her really uncomfortable at the café. No she didn't." (McAdam 335). 

No matter how bad the situation becomes, Noel refuses to admit that he was wrong or did something wrong. Even after his fallout with Fall, Noel refuses to accept, even to himself, that he may have taken is actions to far. His mind refuses to accept that he is not perfect, or to accept that he may not have known Fall as deeply as he believes. Noel craves perfection more than anything, which is one of the reasons that I believe he has become crazy. Noel cannot accept that he has made mistakes that cannot be changed and to deal with this fact he hides behind the character he portrays himself as, intelligent, athletic, perfect. I believe that this conversation may be one of Noel's final snapping points, Julius claiming that Fall did not care for Noel. I believe that Noel will go confront Julius and this will lead to a fight between the two. 

Love Letter Symbolism

I believe that the notes or letters passed between Fall and Julius in the novel Fall may be a symbol of love. There is love between Julius and Fall but Noel believes that the love is really meant for him. Fall and Julius pass letters to each other just as they love each other and Noel is the middle man who handles the letters, assuming that their love, mainly Fall's, is secretly directed to him. Noel eventually steals a letter Fall wrote for Julius, keeping Fall's love away from Julius and attempting to keep it for himself, but when Fall says that she does not feel that way towards him, he feels betrayed and acts out violently towards her. After her disappearance Noel hid the letter and forgot about it, just as he tried to forget about Fall and his love for her, and hide what he had done. When the letter is later found by police, the police realize that Noel had become obsessed, or in love, with the two, and Noel becomes the main suspect. 

Questions Continue

As the novel progresses and the search for Fall, or her body, continues more people begin to take notice of Noel's increasing obsession with Julius, including Julius himself. At this point in the novel Noel is being interrogated by the leading officer in Fall's case who begins to question him about his relationship with Fall and Julius. Julius tells the officer that he is uncomfortable with how Noel looks at him, and so the officer begins to question Noel what his feelings are for Julius. "Julius says you behave oddly sometimes. Look at him in strange ways while he gets dressed sometimes. What's that supposed to mean? Do you love him? No. It's nothing to be ashamed of. He's a handsome guy. I'm not homosexual." (McAdam 335).

At the beginning of the novel Noel was able to contain his emotions and obsessions in a less obvious way but as the story progresses he becomes more and more aggravated to the point where he cannot control himself. He tries to blame Julius for Falls disappearance but the officer sees through his lies and trusts Julius more than Noel. This helps to support my thought that Noel will attempt to get rid of or hurt Julius later in the novel. I believe that Noel will attempt to talk to Julius and a fight will occur which will cause Noel to badly injure or even kill Julius.

Start of Suspicion

As months go by and Fall is still missing the leading officer in her case begins to spend a lot of time interrogating Noel. At first Noel is cautious of what he says and how he acts. At first he attempts to portray the image of someone who lost a dear friend and is worried of the well being of Julius, but as the interviews increase in frequency, his jealousy becomes extremely prevalent. Noel begins to tell the officer that he believes that Julius may have had something to do with Falls disappearance and claims that Fall was scared of Julius and Julius made her do things that she did not want to. The officer listens to Noel's claims then mentions that they have found the letter Fall wrote to Julius, saying to meet her on the day of her disappearance, hidden in Noel's things. The officer begins to question Noel as a suspect instead of an innocent bystander. "I'm not hiding anything. I just wonder what he thinks of my having the note. Did you let him read it? I'm sorry I never let him read it. Your sorry? Tell me why you had the note." (McAdam 334). 

Noel is so confident with himself that he does not hesitate to talk to the officer, he believes himself to be more intelligent than everyone involved, that he is untouchable. This cockiness is what causes him to get caught with the letter that ties him to Falls disappearance and makes him a lead suspect. I believe that this will lead him to either be arrested for the death of Fall or that he will act violently towards Julius, and blame Julius for everything that has occurred. 

Social Criticism

Many people go through high school hating every second and wishing for nothing else but to be done with it, the lucky few manage to turn high school into a good experience. High school is supposed to be a place of learning, but for many people becomes a form of prison. Between the work, drama, bullies, lies and shattered hearts many people become unable to deal with the various pressures and do anything in their power to escape. Some however, for whatever reasons, reach their mental breaking point and snap. Their have been many cases of school violence and school shootings as a result of bullying and other in-school factors, such as the Columbine shooting, in which two "loners" opened fire on their peers and teachers. Several people were killed and many more were injured. 

I believe that the novel Fall may be a social criticism on how acts of bullying and emotional abuse are usually shrugged off, and rarely punished. People, bullies especially, rarely think about the longterm results their mockery might have on an individual. Noel was always bullied and to escape being bullied his mind began to create a different persona and reality of who he was. His mind took on the persona of the most popular boy in school, someone who would never be picked on. In the end he could no longer take it, instead of shooting up his school he began to slowly hurt the people around him. He was the cause of the death of an innocent girl, and caused the disfigurement of his roommate, someone he used to look up to.